NHL Rant vs. Reality #1 – “It’s Tuukka Time!”

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Rant: Bruins fans! Let’s face facts. We drove Tim Thomas out of Boston. We the Northeast Liberal elite, the Bruins fans of young and old and the NHL and its presidential appeasement disguised as some custom to remain relevant. Relevant where? Within a society and economy which Tim himself believes is leading itself into a canned food depression, where the only thing we will have left to depend on is hunting bear for warmth and meat, and learning the ways of the crossbow? We will have to face ourselves when Chicken Little is proven right, and the sky falls down upon us, and he is made president, and in a strange twist of fate, the survived, bunker ridden Tim Thomas goes to visit him at the White House with S. Truett Cathy from Chic-fil-a, and just as he’s about to shake his hand, he chops his head off, Cathy cooks him up and he eats him. Every night within our dreams we will watch Tim Thomas catching pieces of the Copernicus-like foul in his thick playoff beard, and that blood will be on our hands…or…

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Reality: We can thank the man for our Stanley Cup and declare as a black and gold collective, “It’s Tuukka Time!”. There remains no risk with Rask. The Bruins will win the Eastern Conference uncontested with Tuukka in goal. Also, with a solid defense and multiple generations of young talent, there is no reason he can’t take home his first Vezina…

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