Dear John

Dear John,

You may be wondering why the delay in writing you this letter, or you may be wondering why I am writing it in the first place.  See, I wanted to sleep on what I am about to say.  I wanted to try to let a cooler head prevail and not have an emotional reaction to your performance yesterday.  You may be asking yourself “what was wrong with my performance yesterday? I got the W.”  That is my problem with you, John.  In Spring Training, your first comments were, “You know I wasn’t that bad last year.”  You are right.  You were mediocre at best with a 14-11 record and a 4.40 ERA.

I wouldn’t mind that out of a number 4 starter, which is what you are.  But you are the only number 4 starter in the league making $82 million.  Ask anyone around these parts and they will tell you that I always stick up for the athletes around here no matter how bad they may be doing.  Ask Drew Bledsoe.  Go down to JD Drew’s locker and ask him who is always in his corner.  You blew the luxury of having me support you through thick and thin when you come out and say that you aren’t that bad.

John, you are awfully atrocious to put it mildly.  In your eyes you are off to an ok start with a few rough patches.  Hey, you had that ONE inning where you didn’t let anyone score.  Thats right in 8 out of the 9 innings you’ve pitched you’ve allowed at least one run.  15.48? Thats not how many points per game Ray Allen is averaging, John.  That is your earned run average!  Teams are Sha-Lackeying you!  I was at the Rangers game last week.  There were zero ground ball hits.  All their hits left the yard, were scorched to the gaps, or scorched right at people.  You are fooling anyone and you certainly aren’t being victimized by cheap hits.

Then after somehow getting a win yesterday (which the MLB should revisit) you say the game was closer than it appeared?  What does that even mean? See John, this is Boston where fans know their baseball.  They don’t need a monkey jumping up and down on a Jumbotron to tell us to get loud.  We don’t need inflatable sticks to make noise.  We know what is going on and we know when our players aren’t performing at the level they should.

Through 2 games the offense has actually scored 15 runs in games you’ve started.  Have you been able to hold the lead for just one inning? Nope.  Pitching badly is one thing,  (see Beckett, Josh or Matsuzaka, Daisuke) but making lame excuses time and time again and maintaining that you aren’t pitching that badly boggles my mind.

The worst of all this is I have to deal with you for four more years.  The least you can do is get your head out of your ass and start pitching like a man who signed his name to a dotted line one year ago with the understanding that he would EARN his $82 million.

Sincerely Yours,

Scott Patterson

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