YAWN…The Olympics Are Back Again…

Every four years the eyes of the world gather together in frigid temperatures to witness something great at the Winter Olympic Games…or do they?  I know I don’t care but the overall atmosphere anymore, all I care about is the hockey.  Either way, every two years we are flooded with Olympic coverage for a few weeks whether it be the Summer or the Winter.  The IOC has ruined the Olympics for everyone.  The games are so frequent that it is difficult to see them as special anymore.  Does it make me un-American?  Absolutely not.  I simply root for the American medal count on the scoreboard…and I use the term root loosely.  Give me my dose of hockey and a minor taste of curling and nothing else matters to me.  In this post I will bring you points on why certain activities should not be in the games, why it’s ok not to care, why medals are now meaningless, and how to bring the Olympics back into relevance again.

Throughout the year humans of all shapes, sizes, and nationalities talk about countless topics ranging from sports to politics.  However, there is one thing that I can almost one hundred percent guarantee; NO ONE outside of their respective bubbles talks about or gets excited about figure skating, the luge, speed skating, swimming, the biathalon etc…I could go on forever.  The fact that people get up for these things mystifies me.  I understand that rooting for your country is a cool and trendy thing to do but, I refuse to watch a sport that I never care about any other time of the year just because it’s the thing to do or that it’s “patriotic.”  Thank you very much but I have plenty of patriotism for the United States of America without cheering for a limp wristed guy in a pink and green nut hugger suit jumping around on a hockey rink and drilling holes into the ice with his little toe pick on his foot.

Figure skating is the worst of all.  I highly dislike events that are based on judges because there’s too many variables.  The biggest reason of all is that these people don’t even fly their countries colors while they are competing.  They just have vibrant colors and feathers on their skin tight costumes.  What part of that says Olympics?  Give me a break.  The bottom line is is that these events will only get those who are talented in them legitimate “recognition” in the Olympics which is losing it’s luster.

“I am a luger in my spare time.”  “No kidding.  You any good?  Could you be in the Olympics?”  “Naw, I’m not good enough to compete there…”  Good for you kid, I’m glad you’re happy but, no one cares so keep on truckin’.  Except for two weeks every four years, these activities are irrelevant.

My next point is that it’s perfectly acceptable not to care about the Olympic games.  You will not be signed up for Al-Qaida and you will not be shunned by your family, your friends, or even Dwight Schrute.  The worst case scenario is a minimum security prison but hey, they at least let you have conjugal visits.  The same people who flip out because you didn’t vote or because you are pro-life when they are pro-choice take it personally when you diss the Olympic games.  Of course I would like the United States to do the best but, I simply do not care in the grand scheme of things.  If a guy (or girl) goes flying down some ice on a tiny sled that doesn’t make them an athlete, it makes them insane.  I certainly believe it takes talent to control the sled but it certainly does not warrant them being an athlete.  Driving a race car takes talent and hooking a bowling ball takes talent but, do you consider those fat guys to be athletes?  I didn’t think so.  Do you call out people in Dallas if they are indifferent about the Mavericks being in the NBA finals?  Absolutely not.  To each is own.

Winning a gold medal used to mean something back in the day.  When Team USA won in 1980, that was crazy because not only had it not been done forever, international politics were involved.  There was an actual meaning behind winning gold other than something for Christine Lusher to hang on her shelf for winning the 2006 women’s Biathlon.  Never heard of Ms. Lusher?  That’s because I just went through customer’s names at work and picked a random first and last name and put them together.  Had I not told you, you would have never known the difference and if you had then you are probably one of the 40 Bi-athletes in the world…Pardon me that’s probably not politically correct, I meant to say Biathlon enthusiast.

Two summers ago, Michael Phelps ripped apart the swimming pool setting records, breaking Mark Spitz’s 1972 single Olympic’s medal record in Munich, and what is he most remembered for?  Hitting the hookah with some hippy lettuce one weekend.  If this was such an amazing accomplishment, why was a kid getting a little high in the off-season the biggest news of all?  I definitely believe that this was a staggering accomplishment but, why does the media and the general public lean the other way?  Because the Olympics have become a joke and so has the media.

Speaking of the media and the general public, what will be remembered most from this tournament?  The winner of the men’s ski jump on day two or the tragedy that took place the day before the opening ceremony?  I don’t need to answer for you because you already know what happened and what people will remember four years from now.  It’s sad that the only thing bringing the Olympics notoriety is a tragedy and a over-fabricated bruise (see below).

The Olympics are so lame that the story about Lindsey Vonn’s bruised shin flooded American headlines for weeks.  After I heard it the first time I didn’t care.  After the the 17th time, I cared even less, which I did not think was possible at the time.

Sidenote: I just head on the radio that there has been skiing events postponed due to SNOW.  That’s ridiculous.

Lastly, there is some much potential still out there for the Olympic games.  The best way to fix it is to go back to the old format. Have the Olympics take place every four years, regardless of the season.  In 2014 the summer Olympics take place, in 2018, the Winter and so on.  Make the Olympics special and unique, and rare again.  Chocolate cookies are good but if you eat too many they aren’t as good any more.  If it wasn’t for all of the sponsorship this would be possible but, in this day and age, All-Star basketball games will take place in football stadiums, and the IOC will get there money every two years.

I’ll be watching the hockey closely (obviously) only because I’ll watch that day in and day out.  Much like a skiing enthusiast can’t get enough of the Moguls.  How many of you are watching this year religiously and having it not be the reason of “tradition?”

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7 Responses

  1. change the channel

  2. Don’t even need to turn it on my friend

  3. touche….i am just so filled with rage over this non-believer blog, that comment was all I could muster….I guess it is healthy to have two extremes…i am watching curling right now!

  4. I agree for the most part. The Winter Olympics are beyond boring except for hockey. But the Summer Olympics are legit. Basketball, Track and Field, Swimming, and even gymnastics are fun to watch.

    Winter Olympics dont have the star power names of Usain Bolt, Michael Phelps, or even my dear friend Alicia Sacramone.

  5. If you knew Usain Bolt before you actually WATCHED the Olympics, I’ll give you a meatball sandwhich.

  6. wheres my meatball sandwich…i want it with provolone actually..

    come on man you knew i ran in college i know all kinds of irrelevant stuff about track

  7. Ok I actually just read this for the first time and there are some things that are troublesome here. Of course there are sports within the Olympic games that do not deserve to be there…figure skating and synchronized swimming respectively. As for the Michael Phelps comment…there is no possible way that you can just single out the media for focusing on what he was caught doing. The only difference between Phelps and athletes in any of the major yearly sports is that when those athletes mess up they have a nearly immediate way of making us forget about what they did by performing their respective job while Phelps only realistically gets those chances at the World Championships and then the Olympics…in other words it doesnt matter who it was, the media would have focused on it no matter what, just ask Ricky Williams (Weed), Ray Lewis (Murder Suspect), Josh Howard (Weed), or Randy Moss (Weed) how often they are now asked about what happened with them…they aren’t because people forget about shit like that when you are playing in the limelight, Phelps doesn’t have that luxury.
    Secondly, I’d really like to know which of these sports you would like to examine and strip away the title of “athlete” from? For the first time I actually watched that Mogul event, and after doing so I know you definitely are not stripping them of their athlete title because what they do is pretty amazing my friend. Now I may not be a skiing enthusiast between Olympics, I may not be checking up on world rankings in curling, or most of the other sports, but that in itself is the beauty of the Olympic games. Every few years you get to see ATHLETES in sports that get the spotlight very rarely. An NBA, MLB, NFL, or NHL player can easily have an 8-10 year career by being just a role player. These athletes are lucky to even compete for medals in TWO Olympic games. So if you aren’t interested in the Winter Olympics that is fine, probably just be better to keep it to yourself and not give a slap in the face to all these ATHLETES that work hard training for 3 years and then get their time to shine.

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