Rasheed Wallace Sucks

I wish I could be more creative with my title.  Actually, no that is the point of this post.  Rasheed Wallace is horrendously bad. He flat-out sucks.  When thinking of Wallace, Full Metal Jacket pops into my head.  "7 feet tall? I didn’t know they stacked s*** that high!" Call him The Big Technical, the Overweight Freemason, or the perfect cross between Greg Ostertag and Eric Montross.  He is that terrible, maybe even worse. 

Why is Wallace so bad? Why is he so fat? Why is he so slow? Why is he so lazy?  How is it possible to suck this badly? His help defense is non-existent. It seems he gets outrebounded by Eddie House.  His next offensive rebound will be his first. He hoists threes at the backboard on a routine basis.

I fail to understand why no one is this region has called him out yet.  A region that is notorious for being hard on its athletes, he has gotten a free pass without doing anything to deserve it.  Why?  How does he get a free ride? Wake up Boston! This man is stealing his contract! Now I am not so naive to say that the Celtics’ problems are solely Sheed’s fault.  I also understand that every player has their negatives.

Glen Davis is as immature as they come. But the kid has heart and hustles after every ball.  Kendrick Perkins is a bit thugish getting his fair share of technical fouls. Yet, Perk should make the all-defensive team and he leads the league in field goal percentage.  Tony Allen is the definition of ADHD. However, Allen plays with the most heart on the team and has played great defense on the league’s best players. 

The Big Three can’t escape criticism either. Pierce has been maddening to watch at the end of games, slowing the pace down and taking bad shots in the process when the success has come from Rondo’s up tempo play.  But Pierce has also been instrumental in the team’s victories, shooting a high percentage from three and showing the ability to get to the rack at will.  KG is aging at a rapid pace and has appeared slow at times. But who plays with more fire and intensity than Garnett? No one. Ray Allen has had terribly long shooting slumps but he is also the calming influence on this team and knows what he has to do to help the C’s win. He knows to play within himself and not try to do anything that is out of his power.

What is Wallace’s positive? Nothing! He has shown me nothing all season long because he is basketball’s version of JaMarcus Russell.  Sign a nice contract and do nothing to show that you are earning it.  It has been said all season that the Celtics will go as Rasheed goes. With Wallace playing like the scum that he is, they will be ousted in the second round of the playoffs without getting to a Game 6.

In three huge games against conference rivals (the Magic and the Hawks) when Rasheed was on the court the Celtics were outscored by 13,10, and 5, further proof Rasheed Wallace is a liability.  In a perfect world Wallace would realize how terrible he has been this season, and give back his salary because if he had any sense of pride he would understand he hasn’ earned a single cent.

I know Rasheed Wallace is not going to read this post.  It can only be my wish that someone else will call him out of this coma he has been in all season.  He has stunk and needs a wake up call, someone to light a firecracker up under his ass.  Until then he will suck and continue to suck some more because after all,  Rasheed Wallace sucks.