Scottie’s lack of attention to detail has caused me to lose track of the standings in terms of wins-losses and, subsequently, winning percentage. Therefore, the only proof that I have to display my dominance is by saying that after an 8-8 week 16, I now have 142 wins on the season, whereas after a 10-6 week for Scottie he has a measly 137 wins. Last week I took a couple of fliers just to see if I could seal the deal before week 17, but they didn’t all pan out so now I just have to get back to my winning ways and lock this bar-tab up for good. Let’s do it…
When this weekend is all over, I fully intend on going for a recount presidential election style circa 2000 Bush-Gore style. I also will compare us to the ESPN experts because frankly after having Matt whoop my behind, my self esteem and bank account are headed south, just like the Giants season.
Dolphins @ Patriots
The Pats have been on a roll as of late, and the Dolphins can’t seem to buy a win to help and ensure Sparano that he won’t get canned. Expect the Dolphins to play inspired football, but that won’t be enough to get it done in the cold weather of Gillette Stadium.
Scott – Dolphins
The Pats have nothing to play for. I really hope to see a lot of Brian Hoyer and the rest of the second stringers. It was one year ago Welker went down in a meaningless game. I really don’t want history to repeat itself in any shape or form. And just for clarification I will pick the opposite of Matt in most games I deem close in a last ditch effort to make a push.
Bucaneers @ Saints
Matt – Saints
The Bucs are the youngest team in the NFL, and have occasionally played like it, but as we’ve said all year long they are exceeding almost everyone’s expectations. On the other hand, the Saints are an experienced group that are getting healthy at the right time. No playoffs for coach Morris this year, but he looks to be building something special in Tampa.
Scott – Bucs
The Bucs will be looking to end the season by taking down one of the top teams in their conference in an effort to send a message that they will be a team to be reckoned with in seasons to come.
Panthers @ Falcons
Matt – Falcons
There are few better ways to rebound than by having the luxury of playing against the Panthers. Coach Fox and his boys got beat down in Pittsburgh last Thursday and look to be set up for another whooping against the Falcons on Sunday.
Scott – Falcons
Falcons will clinch the number one spot in the NFC with a walk-through against the Panthers. The Panthers maybe a doomed franchise with news that Andrew Luck may not be coming out in this year’s draft. Being a Carolina fan is like being on deck in softball with two outs when I am at the plate. You don’t have a chance.
Vikings @ Lions
Matt – Lions
How about the Detroit Lions? They go from losing about 77 road games in a row to starting a 2 game winning streak. I truly believe that the health of Matthew Stafford and Jahvid Best are the difference between their current 5 wins and an 8-8 or 9-6 season. Anyways, Joe Webb and the Vikes made my week by beating the Eagles on Tuesday and hurting Vick, but a very short week and Joe Webb still slinging it might spell disaster for the Vikes in Detroit.
Scott – Vikings
Joe Webb actually played well last week and as Bill Simmons puts it he is a “rich man’s Tavaris Jackson.” There was even a Jared Allen sighting last week. The Lions may be without Calvin Johnson and with AP looking healthy I like the Vikes here.
Raiders @ Chiefs
Matt – Chiefs
This game is meaningful to me in two ways. First, I love seeing the Chiefs win because it shows how amazing of a franchise builder Bill Belichick is (see Scott Pioli, Charlie Weis, and Romeo Crennel in KC) and a Raiders lose versus a win could mean the difference between a top 12 pick and a pick near 20. Like I always say, you never know what Raiders team is going to show up on Sunday, so you’d be smart to pick against them more often than not.
Scott – Raiders
The Chiefs have nothing to play for as they are already in the playoffs. I think the bi-polar Raiders will handle the second string of the Chiefs.
Bills @ Jets
Matt – Jets
So about a year ago, the Jets were losing games and Rex Ryan was crying about being knocked out of the playoffs when they were actually still mathematically alive. This year, the guy is crying about losing when they just clinched a playoff spot. I love it though, because slowly but surely the wheels are coming off in New York and the self-proclaimed best team in the NFL isn’t looking all that scary.
Scott – Bills
The Jets backed into the playoffs last year and I think they will be doing so again this year. I expect the Bills to rebound from the thrashing they took at the hands of the Pats last week.
Bengals @ Ravens
Matt – Ravens
I would pay a hell of a lot of money to be in the Bengals locker room for a season. It must be the most bi-polar place in the entire world. They win their division in 2009 by sweeping every team in the AFC north. They sign T.O. in the off-season, and subsequently go 2-11 through their first 13 games of 2010. Then, their two star wideouts get hurt and they are 2-0 in their next two games. What does Marvin Lewis say to that? No shot for Jordan Shipley and crew in B-More though.
Scott – Ravens
I really wanted to pick the exact opposite of Matt in every game this week. But this one I just can’t do it. The Ravens are playing for a bye in the first round of the playoffs and they get a layup with the Bengals.
Steelers @ Browns
Matt – Steelers
Soon after the Browns’ demolition of the Patriots, they were looking like a team on the rise. They played the Jets and Jacksonville close, and then beat the Panthers and Miami. But, since the Miami game it hasn’t looked so great for Cleveland. Cheer up Cleveland, your team sucking is just giving Mike Holmgren more reason to bring in Jon Gruden in the off-season.
Scott – Steelers
Now that I’ve sided with Matt on at least one game I can pick with some smarts now. The Browns will most likely be without a banged up Peyton Hillis and the Steelers are battling the Ravens for that all important bye. The Steelers need that week off bad as anyone because of how banged up they are.
Jaguars @ Texans
Matt – Texans
Gary Kubiak’s job status is apparently up in the air down in Houston, but players and former stars are calling for ownership to keep Kubiak around. The latest reports are that Kubiak will be fired unless he can somehow convince Wade Phillips to come be Houston’s defensive coordinator. I have to agree, Wade Phillips is a franchise saver. Dallas’ defense was great this season. Yup, I don’t get it either. Anyways, Trent Edwards is lined up to get the start for the Jags with Garrard out, so I’m looking for the Texans to end the season on a positive note.
Scott – Jaguars
Meaningless game so I am just going to go against Matt. Yes, I know the Jags are without MJD and Garrard but the Texans defense is as bad as their offensive line was in the David Carr days. Put me at QB with a wideout corps from the Mother of Hope Day Camp and I can beat the Texans D.
Cowboys @ Eagles
Matt – Cowboys
This game means nothing for the Eagles. Vick is hurt, Kolb sucks (unnecessary shot at Kolb, I know), they already have the three seed locked up, and they just played on Tuesday. Conversely, the Cowboys are playing for their 2011 head coach Jason Garrett and have been doing a pretty good job since he took over. Andy Reid knows his team is hurting and he will rest a lot of their starters to get ready for the playoffs.
Scott – Eagles
This is Kevin Kolb’s audition for those teams in the NFL that need a quarterback next season. If he blows it, so goes his future. If he light’s it up, Philly has a nice trade chip come the off season. The Cowboys have Scuffy McGee under center and he isn’t going to be leading the team to any sort of victory.
Giants @ Redskins
Matt – Giants
I never thought I would actually say this but the Redskins look like a better team under Rex Grossman. He is managing the game, letting the run game do its thing, and all signs in Washington are pointing to a McNabb trip to Minnesota come next season. The Giants are a complete mess, and Tom Coughlin’s sideline antics aren’t doing much to help the situation. I just can’t see the G-Men dropping three in a row.
Scott – Redskins
Free Falling by Tom Petty immediately comes to mind when I think of the Giants end to this season. The loss to the Eagles ended it for them and Tom Coughlin will be collecting unemployment very soon. Sexy Rexy is going to show the nation that he is better than McNabb and lead the Skins to a season ending win.
Chargers @ Broncos
Matt – Broncos
I’m going to take another shot with my man Tebow here. He did me proud last week, and the Chargers looked uninspired against the Bengals last week. The Broncos will win the battle of emotion, and I’m hoping that translates to a victory on the scoreboard.
Scott – Chargers
I wanted to pick the Broncos here just because it is sort of cool to see what Tim Tebow is doing. No, I don’t have a Tebowner and for that reason I am going with the Chargers.
Cardinals @ 49ers
Matt – 49ers
Stupid 49ers. Who wakes up in the morning and says, “Oh, I know what is a good idea. Let me fire the greatest head coach in the history of the NFL. Yes, that is definitely the best move for my team.” Two bad teams, always pick the home squad. Stupid, stupid 49ers.
Scott – Cardinals
Big John Skeleton marched down the field to beat the Cowboys on Christmas night. The 49ers have absolutely no offense. I’m going with Skeleton keeping the momentum going and getting a win. (I am fully aware his name is Skelton).
Bears @ Packers
Matt – Packers
Aaron Rodgers and the Packers are fighting relentlessly to get into the playoffs. They control their own destiny. If the Packers win, they are in, if they lose, who knows. Either way, they know what is at stake and they will play like it. The Bears are fighting for a first round bye, but I’m still not sold on Cutler.
Scott – Bears
I definitely want to pick the Packers here because it is win and in for them. But Matt picked them, so I have to go with Daaaaaaa Bears!
Titans @ Colts
Matt – Colts
If there was one team of the probable AFC playoff teams that I would want to play it would be the Colts. Injuries have decimated their receiving corps and tight ends. Their running game is finally getting a bit more healthy but is often nonexistent. Defensively, Bob Sanders is still doing curls on the sidelines and the mini-meatball Gary Brackett is banged up. The Titans are in disarray and sadly Jeff Fisher may be on his way out if they lose this one.
The Colts win and they lock up their playoff berth as well. All season during these series of posts I’ve said you can’t go against Peyton Manning. Well I am going against my word and saying go Titans. This one is for you CV.
Rams @ Seahawks
Matt – Rams
What is really sad is that this game has playoff implications. It’s looking like Hassleback will be out for this showdown with a back injury so the future of the franchise Charlie Whitehurst gets the nod. I’m hoping that Whitehurst throws 6 picks just so the world knows how bad of a personnel judge Pete Carrol is. I want to pick the Seahawks just to see the uproar after a 7-9 team gets in the playoffs, but I can’t bring myself to pull the trigger. Good for Bradford…
Again I want to pick the Rams. But Matt has taken away my liberties by picking first. I hate the Seahawks. I hate everything about them. I have said so all season. And now I have to pick them.
Enjoy your beers Matt. I am sure I will have fun paying for them.